There is one class in particular, though, that I have been putting off for years. Back in Fall 2012, I took the class "Young Adult Literature" with Dr. Grubaugh. If I was bad at procrastinating now, my problem was worse back then. I couldn't keep up with the "one book a week" book reports and readings and the class fell to the wayside. At the end of the class, I had a very definite F for a grade. It doesn't mean that I didn't participate though. I vaguely remember adding input in class discussions and I think I hosted an online lesson because I claimed to be so good at using technology for learning purposes. Anyways, Dr. Grubaugh saw that I did work and that I had potential. He bargained with me and let me get a B- on conditions that I outlined myself. I've attached that contract because I am here to admit that two years after the deadline...I still haven't fulfilled that contract.
I made some pretty big promises in the contract...and aside from the one where I had to volunteer at a virtual classroom (I volunteered in plenty of classrooms since then) I had not achieved a single one. I didn't even take the class that next semester...I put it off...until now.
Dr Grubaugh does this thing at the onset of each course that I knew back then would bite me in the ass but as a more informed and committed educator, I admire as a practice. He recorded the face, name, and major of each of his students. I imagine he goes home to review each one of his students, memorizes their name and face so that the next lesson he will be prepared to engage. I thought he was just being weird...after all, how could I do that to my high school students without facing fear of being a creeper. Now, I realize he is doing the thing that I admire most about good educators: using technology to aid in providing a quality education. I'm not great with names and, unlike some professors I have seen who are able to actually remember faces and names with photographic memories, I will need technological aid to clear this hurdle. Without something as simple as memorizing names...I could never fully engage my class.
He knew me when I walked in. Maybe it was just me....it probably was just me since the doctor is very very patient....but I feel like he had a sort of disappointment in his tone when he said "welcome back". I want to look at my professor as a mentor instead of as a jailor or slave driver like I saw him two years ago. I want to emulate the forgiveness and understanding he showed me because I know I will have little lazy shit students with big ideas and drive but no maturity and discipline to help channel it. I have grown in the last two years...and I intended to show it this year. It's my last one and even though I keep having hiccups....I'll keep going. I need to make up for lost time.
And so my rant ends with a commitment. I haven't posted in a while, but I will start this up again. At this point, I can't say I care too much about who reads and who doesn't....it's more that I care that I just write. It's a personal goal fo mine to write now...consistently and confidently and I welcome any and all criticism. I also want to commit to fulfilling that contract I created two years ago...albeit in my own way. Young Adult literature to me includes story based video games, so I want to cover those too. Youtube is taking the place of virtual classrooms, so I think I'll use that too. This blog will serve as my platform for educating future educators, so all I have to do is maintain it.
I hope that you, my fellow reader and learner, will hold me accountable to these commitments I just made. I've never before wanted to change so badly as I want to do now....so I can better the kids.
Too bad my sense of procrastination still lingers as it is 3am and I have to be up by 5am....
I will do better.
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